• Daily Dumbass March 9, 2010

    Today’s dumbass is someone I came in contact with at a movie in Columbia recently.  My husband and I went to see “Up In The Air.” As you know, you’re asked in several ways to turn your cell phone off before the start of a movie. In the row behind us, a woman’s cell phone rang. She quickly stopped the ringing and we just figured “no big deal, she must’ve forgot to turn it off.” Then it rang again.  Then it rang AGAIN.  We weren’t the only ones in the theater who turned to look at her.  Really? Your phone rings three times in a movie? So she says so everyone can hear her: “I don’t know how to turn it off!”  Listen lady, if you’re so stupid that you can’t turn off your phone, you shouldn’t be allowed to own one.  Better yet, if you don’t know how to turn it off, then leave it in the damn car while you’re seeing a movie!

  • Daily Dumbass March 8, 2010

    If you’ve ever thought of ignoring the signs at the zoo, today’s dumbass should change your mind. A 47-year-old woman at a zoo in Wisconsin ignored barriers and warning signs to not feed the animals, and stuck her hand through the fence to hand feed two black bears at Lincoln Park Zoo.  One of the bears bit two of the woman’s fingers off and partially severed two others.  Apparently alcohol played a factor in the incident. (The woman, not the bear.)

  • Daily Dumbass March 5, 2010

    Today’s dumbass award goes to a married couple in Eastman, Ge0rgia, who could definitely qualify for the “Worst Parents of the Year” award.  James and Sandra Davis came up with a novel plan to pay for the ‘98 Dodge minivan they wanted to buy at Shorty’s Used Cars. They let the dealership’s manager have sex with their 12-year-old daughter in lieu of payments.  This sick twisted payment plan has been going on for 2 years.  Both parents have been arrested and the girl, thank God, has been put in foster care.  This couple should definitely go into the “Should Never Be Allowed To Procreate” category….and we can only hope their cellmates in prison come up with a creative payment plan for them as well.

  • Daily Dumbass March 4, 2010

    A drunk driver in Sheboyhan Falls, Wisconsin, tried – but failed – at getting out of his fifth DWI.  The 42-year-old man left a bar drunk, lost control of his car, and crashed into a snow bank.  In fear of getting caught, he walked back to the bar, ordered another beer, and called police to report his car had been stolen.  It wasn’t hard for police to figure out what really happened since they followed the man’s footprints in the snow from the wrecked car to the bar.  Nice try, but no banana.  He now faces up to three years in jail and a $10,000 fine.

  • Daily Dumbass March 3, 2010

    An Ozzy fan easily earned his dumbass stripes at Ozzy’s book signing in Florida last week.  Nathan Moser was waiting in line to get his copy of “I Am Ozzy” signed and thought it’d be a great time to light up a joint.  Since celebrity book signings have tons of security guards and police officers, Nathan was immediately arrested.  Turns out he had pockets full of fireworks too.  He spent the night in jail before posting bond on drug and explosives possession charges.

  • Daily Dumbass

    An Indianapolis woman faces a theft charge after coaxing her 5-year-old daughter into stealing a woman’s purse at Chuck E. Cheese.  The woman said she pointed out the purse she wanted her daughter to take and urged her to “Do it for Mommy” when the victim wasn’t looking.  The thieving mom now faces theft and contributing to the delinquency of a minor charges. Wow – way to set an example  “mom”!

  • Daily Dumbass March 1, 2010

    Maybe he was bored.  Maybe today’s dumbass just likes prank phone calls. But for some reason, a 31-year-old man named Timothy Lawrence of Avon Park, Florida, called 911 more than 200 times in a recent 3-day span. Timothy only would talk to female dispatchers, and made sexually explicit remarks to one of them. He did, however, admit that he did not need emergency assitance…..but clearly, he needs a social life.

  • Daily Dumbass Feb. 26, 2010

    If you’re planning on violating parole, you should probably stay away from appearing on a TV program.  Richard Peterson of North Carolina violated his probation by leaving the state to appear on the Jerry Springer Show. Richard went on the show with his girlfriend to brag about his one-night stand with a stripper….and his probation officer spotted him  on the show.  Richard is now back in jail.

  • Daily Dumbass Feb. 25, 2010

    A 46-year-old man in South Bend drew attention to himself recently while driving around with a gas pump hose hanging from the fuel tank of his truck. Police got a call from several angry drivers whose cars had been hit by the hose when the man passed them.  Police found the guy, pulled him over, and he failed two sobriety tests.  Way to “fly under the radar”…

  • Daily Dumbass Feb. 24, 2010

    Another stupid lawsuit is the topic of today’s dumbass.  A woman named Reyna Mason is suing Chuck E. Cheese after being hit in the head with an air hockey puck.  She says Chuck E. Cheese is negligent because they failed to warn her of the danger of sitting in the booth next to the air hockey table.  That’s probably because they assumed most people could figure out for themselves that if you sit next to an air hockey table that you might get hit – not to mention the pucks are light and plastic, so bodily harm isn’t a big concern anyway. It’s stupid lawsuits like this that make it hard for businesses to provide a fun place for families to take their kids.

  • Daily Dumbass Feb. 23, 2010

    Police in Sweden say a man walked into a local precinct to complain about the quality of hash he had bought from a dealer.  The 26-year-old also said he was a frequent user of pot and hash, but the latest batch of hash he had purchased sent him on a bad trip that made him feel like his TV was talking to him and his girlfriend was turning into a dolphin. Wow – that must be some good sh*t!  He even brought in some of the hash for testing, but the most likely result will be a possession charge.

  • Daily Dumbass Feb. 22, 2010

    If you’re going to commit a crime, you should know better than to brag about it – especially to your hairdresser!  A man in Salem, Oregon, was arrested after telling his hairdresser how he’d gone into a building to smoke pot and then set a fire that destroyed the old building.  The hairdresser tipped police, who then arrested the man.

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