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Daily Dumbass Feb. 7, 2012

nicci — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 15:25:59 +0000

Police in Florida are confused by a bank robber because of his strange fashion choices and actions. 43-year-old Eli Escalera allegedly went into a bank near Key West wearing his shorts on his head like a hat, but not covering his face at all. He handed the teller a note that said “Give me what are 20s and 50s”. The confused teller asked him what he wanted, and Eli said “never mind” and left the bank. He then tried to flee on a bicycle, but was quickly caught. There’s so many things wrong with this lame robbery attempt that I don’t even know where to start.

Daily Dumbass Feb. 6, 2012

nicci — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 15:04:06 +0000

Another dumbass from the “Nice Try” Department. A Florida woman accused of DWI told the officer who pulled her over that her “big boobies” hindered her ability to take a field sobriety test. 49-year-old Maureen Raymond of Port St. Lucie said she couldn’t comply with the officer’s sobriety test instructions because of her massive ta-tas. The officer didn’t buy it and she was arrested for driving under the influence.

Daily Dumbass Feb. 3, 2012

nicci — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 14:53:37 +0000

A 55-year-old man in Montana named John Hughes decided to cross something off his bucket list recently. He followed a patrol car, then deliberately bated the officer to pull him over by speeding. Then he led the officer on a high speed chase on the interstate at 100 miles per hour. Authorities finally laid out spikes to flatten John’s tires and get him to stop. Why did he do this? He said he always wanted “to see what it would be like to be in a police chase.” I wonder if he “always wondered what it would be like” to be a prison bitch too.

Daily Dumbass Feb. 2, 2012

nicci — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 15:17:34 +0000

Sometimes inmates forget that they are in prison. A female prisoner in Sweden, who is serving a life sentence for murder, is demanding vacation time away from the job she has inside the prison. She believes she’s owed compensation for paid vacation time required by Swedish labor laws. She was told the prison does not grant any vacation time. Riiiight lady…cause (and I know this will shock you), prisoners are not protected by the same laws as other law-abiding workers. News Flash!!!

Daily Dumbass Feb. 1, 2012

nicci — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 15:05:46 +0000

A woman in Seattle held a ceremony to marry a 107-year-old building. She married the building as a protest against the gentrification in the neighborhood, and since she considers the building a female, she’s referring to the marriage as a “gay marriage.” I hate to break it to ya lady, but no one is going to change the neighborhood over your so-called marriage ….they’re just going to think you are bat crap crazy.

Daily Dumbass Jan. 31, 2012

nicci — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 15:09:26 +0000

A major “whoops” from Vassar College in New York. They accidentally sent acceptance letters to 76 applicants who were NOT granted admission into the college. The school’s director of media relations explained “It was a human error working with technology that caused this; we take full responsibility.” Within hours, Vassar sent an apology and denial letter to the 76 students…..wonder if they wrote “PSYCH!” at the bottom of the letter.

Daily Dumbass Jan. 30, 2012

nicci — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 15:20:19 +0000

Police in Atlanta arrested two teenagers who broke into CNN’s newsroom and then used the computers to check their Facebook pages. The 19 and 17 year olds climbed over a ledge to get into the newsroom, and it set off an alarm. They were both still looking at Facebook when police arrived to arrest them.

Daily Dumbass Jan. 27, 2012

nicci — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 15:18:43 +0000

If you’re a criminal, here’s another reminder to be careful in picking your next victim. A teenager in Florida broke into a home, and quickly found himself being detained by the homeowner, who also happened to be a police officer. The homeowner said he and his wife woke up around 3AM from loud noises when the teenager forced his way through their front door. He had a brief struggle with the teen before restraining him and calling 911.

Daily Dumbass Jan. 26, 2012

nicci — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 15:32:37 +0000

Yet ANOTHER case of abusing the 911 system. A man in Willowbrook, Illinois, called 911 to request that an officer come to his house so he could fight him. John Pacella called the emergency number around 4 in the morning and when police arrived, he literally tried to fight them. He was taken to jail and booked instead.

Daily Dumbass Jan. 25, 2012

nicci — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 14:58:46 +0000

Today’s dumbass could also get the “Worst Driver of the Year” Award too. 47-year-old Curtis Gunter of Polk County, Florida, was arrested after he crashed his car 5 separate times in one day. Luckily those crashes happened when Curtis hit parked cars, so no one else was injured. The last car he smashed into? A parked patrol car. Here’s the kicker: he wasn’t even drunk – just that bad of a driver! He was charged with reckless driving, property damage and leaving the scene of a crash.