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A Florida man who talked his way out of a ticket by claiming to be a federal agent pushed his luck by complaining about the traffic stop, police said. Robert Pinto of Hollywood, FL, is now charged with impersonating an officer. The charge is a felony that could bring a prison term. Investigators say Pinto was pulled over Monday for failing to come to a complete stop at an intersection. He allegedly told the police officer who stopped him that he was an agent with the General Services Administration, the agency in charge of U.S. government buildings, and showed him a card. The officer let Pinto off with a warning, although he may have been doubtful about him, since he noted on his report that the backdoors of Pinto’s jeep advertised discount T-shirts. Later that
day, Pinto came to the police station and complained about the stop. He was arrested after police decided he was a GSA vendor, not an agent, and his card was confiscated.

Pennsylvania State Police said a man who crashed his SUV while taking off his shoes was charged with careless driving. Troopers said while Jordon Rauder was driving this past Wednesday he started taking off his shoes and lost his focus on the road. Rauder told police he realized he was in the wrong lane and hit the brakes while turning the wheel, causing him to lose control of the vehicle and spin into a guardrail. Police said the SUV flipped onto its roof and Rauder suffered a minor injury.

Today’s Dumbass is rather childish. A dispute over the ownership of a frying pan led to third-degree burns for one man and 11 stitches for another. A 49-year-old man was cooking bacon on the stove when his 47-year-old brother-in-law claimed the pan was his. The argument led to the man cooking cornering the younger man into a closet and spilling hot grease on the younger man. Then the 47-year-old then grabbed the pan from his attacker and hit him in the head twice. The 49-year-old was taken to an area hospital were he received 11 titches before being arrested for assault. But the man who received third-degree burns on his hands told police he did not wish to press charges. Police did report finding two pieces of bacon in the closet.

Today’s dumbass learned the hard way to never trust your friends when you are drinking. A 47 year old man let his friends set his prosthetic leg on fire after loosing a drinking bet, which was the one who drinks the least would be set on fire. The man only drank six beers. Sheriff’s deputies said they found the man on the side of the highway with is fake leg on fire and the man had taken his cloths off because of the pain and told the deputies his buddies who were going to take him to the hospital instead got nervous and dumped him on the side of the road.

Today’s dumbass takes paranoia to a whole new level.  A Romanian woman did not report her husband’s death for two weeks because she thought he was faking it to get away from her.  She told police she wanted to make sure her husband wasn’t trying to trick her to start a new life with his mistress, so she sat over his body for 14 days before going to authorities.  Really? Did she think he was faking the rotting stench too? What’s wrong with this woman?

Heath Cannon of St. Petersburg, Florida, needed to make a beer run. Unfortunately, Heath didn’t have a car, so he stole a tractor from a construction site and set off for the store…at 10 miles an hour.  Police pulled him over way before he reached the store and Heath apoligized for stealing the tractor, but let the officer know that he REALLY needed to make a beer run.  Instead he got a ride to jail for theft and now has a $10,000 bail.

Today’s dumbass shows us where NOT to hide our loaded guns.  Antoine Boutte put his loaded .40 caliber Smith & Wesson at the bottom of his gas stove.  He forgot it was there and went to cook some food…and that’s when the gun’s magazine started to melt, which caused the spring – and bullets – to come out of the magazine.  Then Antoine’s friend decided to open the oven to “see what’s going on”, and was hit in the stomach by a stray bullet.

If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.  And if that doesn’t work, maybe it’s time you realized that your life’s dream of becoming a professional beer thief just isn’t going to happen.  Paul Baldwin of Portsmouth, Maine was just arrested for the 154th time for stealing beer.  For his latest arrest, Paul was caught on camera stealing two 18-packs and a 12-pack from a convenience store. How big do your pants have to be to stuff that much beer down them?

Today’s dumbass award goes to reality show star Kate Gosselin (of Kate Plus 8 fame), who insists on continuing to terrorize the public by not going away.  Kate is now pitching to release an album of Christmas songs sung by herself and her 8 kids.  Apparently Kate sees herself as a modern day Maria from the Sound of Music and knows she has to act quick before people forget about her.  Kate – I beg of you – PLEASE let me forget about you!

From the “nice try” file.  Police arrested a man in La Crosse, Wisconsin for holding up a woman at an ATM with a knife.  The suspect admitted to having the knife, but said he was only trying to sell the woman the knife.  Riiiiiight…..guess the random amount you stole from her was the amount the knife cost – and you just forgot to leave the knife with her.