Daily Dumbass

Michael Carlton of Smithfield, OH violated the Number One Rule for guys everywhere: Never, ever stop and ask for directions.

Early Thursday morning, an Athens officer spotted Terrina Bates lugging a metal SAFE while walking along Highway 39.

A college spring breaker from Iowa was seriously injured when he fell from a balcony.

A Sheboygan teen is learning the hard way that posting pictures of your potted marijuana plants on MySpace.com is a bad idea.

On Tuesday, a Billings prosecutor had told a district judge that Phillip C. Holliday Jr., 42, claimed a unicorn was driving when his truck crashed into a light pole earlier this month.

Sometime Sunday evening, someone broke into five recreational vehicles and two buildings behind the local Outlet Mall owned by the City of Troutdale’s parks and recreation department. Tools, generators, sanders, welders and six Motorola two-way radios worth about $6,000 were taken. The crooks left behind plenty of evidence: blood, footprints …

Authorities say a man trying to steal copper from highline electric poles was electrocuted when he touched a live wire.

A man accused of a stealing underwear from a shop at knifepoint says he believed he was a female elf at the time.

Yo Dude…your fly is down.

A City Bus driver was arrested on suspicion of voyeurism Sunday after a woman reported him peeping into her apartment window, apparently during a break from his route.