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Here’s a dumbass from the “Nice Try” Department.  Gerald Maxwell returned to the same Florida home he had burglarized three years ago, broke in and set off the alarm.  When Sarasota police arrrived, Gerald told them he was there to leave a thank you note because he’s the guy who broke in the last time and had just gotten out of jail.  Officers didn’t buy his excuse – especially since they found Gerald with a pile of jewelry from the house and a crack pipe.

A would-be Florida robber botched the job recently and had the tables turned on him.  Raymond Shepard of Daytona Beach set out to mug a 69-year-old woman.  His accomplice blocked the victim’s car while Raymond jumped onto her hood and banged on the windshield with his gun.  He ended up breaking a hole in the glass, and his gun fell through it.  The victim then picked up the gun and pointed it back and him…..Raymond bolted and dropped his cell phone.  Police connected the phone back to him and arrested him and he’s still in the pokie.

Another lame attempt to smuggle drugs to a prisoner gives us a new daily dumbass.  Authorities in Alabama arrested Edward Ridley, who brought his buddy in jail a container of Chinese food with a bag of marijuana hidden in the food.  A jail worker searched through the rice and shrimp and discovered the bag of pot.  Now Edward can join his buddy in the clink since he’s now been charged with a felony and will be behind bars for up to 10 years.

A stupid lawsuit is the topic for today’s dumbass.  Michael Dupree of St. Petersburg, Florida, is in jail for theft.  Now he’s suing the man he burglarized.  The victim caught Michael breaking into his van and stealing his bicycle that was locked inside.  The victim and his two friends did a citizen’s arrest, handcuffed Michael, and put a knee on his back until police arrived.  Now Michael is suing his victim for half a million for disabilities and distress he suffered during the takedown.  He’s filed this as a civil suit on his own because – surprise, surprise – he can’t find a lawyer to represent him.

What is the deal with people abusing the 911 system??  Yesterday our dumbass was calling dispatchers for a date and today brings us a St. Augustine, Florida man who called 911 several times to ask for a ride to the liquor store. George McMurrian called for a ride to buy booze from his hotel room and after the third call officers showed up at his door to arrest him….officers spotted marijuana in George’s room when he opened the door.  He was arrested for misusing 911 AND pot possession.

Sure, people get desperate for a date – but when it interferes with public safety, then there’s a problem. Police in Ohio said they arrested 43-year-old Bernadette Music of Norwood for drunk dialing 911 five times on one night….and asking for a date from the dispatchers. Needless to say, none of the emergency workers took her up on the date request and she was arrested for disorderly conduct.

A Croatian man named Marko blew himself up after trying to pry apart a hand grenade.  Marko found the grenade while he was out walking near his house and decided to sell it for scrap metal.  So he tried to hack into the live grenade with a grinder in his garage when it exploded. He was listed in serious condition after being taken to the hospital.  Stupidity blows!

A mugger in San Fran was arrested after he stole an iPhone WHILE it was being used to demonstrate new GPS tracking software.  An intern for iPhone was walking around to demonstrate the real-time GPS tracking software when she was mugged and the phone was stolen.  The criminal didn’t look at the phone or he would have seen the tracking software running and turned it off, but police were able to easily track and arrest him 9 minutes later.

It’s terrific to be creative, but not when it endangers your life. A wedding photographer thought  he came up with a great ida – have a bride and groom pose holding hunting rifles.  Bad idea: one of the rifles accidentally went off, and it killed the photographer.  This happened over the weekend in Sicily, where it is tradition for people to fire off guns at family events.  Since the photo session was happening before the wedding, the bride and groom called the wedding off after the photographer was killed. (Guess it wasn’t a good omen for the marriage.)

Another dumbass from the “nice try” department.  A self-proclaimed Austalian witch told a traffic cop that she is not subject to earthly laws and she was “a being from another world.” Then she tried to drive off while the officer’s arm was caught in her car door and dragged the officer alongside the car.  She continued her alien defense in court, but not surprisingly, the judge didn’t buy it and she was charged with a long list of crimes.