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Daily Dumbass June 5, 2017

Looks like the 911 system needs to come with instructions.  Police in Pennsylvania say a man named Larry called the emergency number seven times in two hours because he was upset about a family situation, had been drinking beer and was lonely. Officers went to his house to ask him …

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Daily Dumbass June 2, 2017

He just HAD to answer.  An 18-year-old named Chandler in Florida stole an iPhone. The victim reported the theft to police and a deputy texted the stolen phone, identifying himself and demanding its return.  Chandler did not respond so the deputy called him via FaceTime and of course – Chandler …

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Daily Dumbass June 1, 2017

The perfect story on how NOT to break into an ATM for the first dumbass of the month.  Some would be cash stealers in Everett, Washington, used a blowtorch to get inside an ATM and ended up setting all the cash inside on fire. They got away with exactly zero …

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Daily Dumbass May 31, 2017

I thought I would tell you about an insane lawsuit for the last dumbass of the month.  A woman named Jessica in California is suing the makers of Jelly Belly jelly beans, claiming she didn’t know jelly beans contain sugar.  Jessica says the term “evaporated cane juice” is a fancy …

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Daily Dumbass May 30, 2017

Just because your girlfriend is a nurse does NOT mean she wants to work while getting proposed to.  A man in Russia proposed to his nurse girlfriend by putting a ring inside his abdomen wound….and she had to clean it out to find it.  Ummmm….first of all – ewwwww!!  Secondly, …

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Daily Dumbass May 26, 2017

How far would you go for a free pizza? Today’s dumbass apparently has no limit.  A pizza place in Flagstaff, Arizona had a contest where you got a free pizza if you climbed Mount Elden, weather permitting.  A 30-year-old hiker decided to ignore the heavy snow conditions and started the …

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Daily Dumbass May 25, 2017

Today’s dumbass picked a really bad place to pass out.  A married couple in Tennessee left a BBQ festival and were eventually pulled over.  Why? Because there was a man asleep on the trunk of their car and they had gone 14 miles without noticing it!  They had backed into …

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Daily Dumbass May 24, 2017

In case you were wondering: Bearded dragons and alcohol don’t mix.  A woman named Amy in Massachusetts was arrested after she knocked over 6 mailboxes while driving.  Police found out Amy was drunk AND that she had a bearded dragon lizard in her bra while driving. Um, OK.  Just why?? …

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Daily Dumbass May 23, 2017

Yet another example of when it’s inappropriate to call 911.  A 27-year-old man in Florida named Kevin called 911 to ask for help looking for his wife, who he claims is Taylor Swift.  Kevin also wanted authorities to give him a ride to a mental health facility so he could …

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Daily Dumbass May 22, 2017

A prime example of poor decision-making fueled by alcohol. A 45-year-old man named Robert in Ohio crashed his car into a food market while going about 40 miles per hour….oh, and he was nekked from the waist down.  His reason? Robert just wanted to ‘get a beer’, so he barricaded …

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