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Daily Dumbass Oct. 25, 2017

Um…today’s dumbass apparently has some issues.  A woman named Mary in St. Augustine, Florida, walked into a stranger’s house – completely buck nekked – and was found eating a can of pineapple.  When police asked Mary why she had broken in, she explained it: The door was open for me …

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Daily Dumbass Oct. 24, 2017

Today’s dumbass REALLY hates spiders. A man in Tuscon found some spider webs underneath his mobile home, so to get rid of them, he did the only logical thing possible:  Got out a propane torch and went to town.  Of course that set his house on fire and the fire …

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Daily Dumbass Oct. 23, 2017

Maybe it was an early Halloween costume run?  Two women in Pennsylvania tried to rob a bank while dressed up as nuns. And here’s the thing: Nuns’ habits may cover their bodies – but you can still see their face.  So both the women were arrested.  Might be something to …

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Daily Dumbass Oct. 20, 2017

I’m not quite sure I understand the motivation behind today’s dumbass.  A Tennessee woman named Irene set a new Guinness World Record after she ran a marathon (26.2 miles) in high heels.  She used 6 pairs of three-inch stilettos for the race. What. The Hell.  I can’t even walk 2 …

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Daily Dumbass Oct. 19, 2017

So a young guy in Florida has never robbed a bank, but wants to.  What’s he do to get started??  26-year-old William Johnson googled “how to rob a bank”. After getting cash from a credit union, he was caught and arrested 3 days later.   Hey William – next time you …

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Daily Dumbass Oct. 18, 2017

Apparently dead people can offend the living.  A man in England had requested a line from a poem he wrote be etched onto his grave: “The little bugger did his best.”  A council in England has denied the request and is prohibiting his family from putting it on the gravestone.  …

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Daily Dumbass Oct. 17, 2017

More proof that society is getting WAY too dependent on social media.  Police in Bothell, Washington, actually had to ask residents to stop calling 911 to report that Facebook was down. Not only are emergency responders not capable of “fixing” Facebook, but they don’t need to be notified when it’s …

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Daily Dumbass Oct. 16, 2017

You gotta watch those little green men.  A 31-year-old man named Anouphong was arrested earlier this month after damaging property and setting it on fire.  His reason?  Aliens made him do it.  Riiiiiight. Either this moron has been watching way too many episodes of Ancient Aliens or this is just …

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Daily Dumbass Oct. 13, 2017

Apparently, some burglars do have manners.  A restaurant owner in New York found his burglar bars bent up, so he reviewed his security camera footage.  He saw today’s dumbass emptying the register, cooking an elaborate meal, then covering and refrigerating the food before wiping down the kitchen and leaving a …

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Daily Dumbass Oct. 12, 2017

You would think a 40-year-old grown ass man would have a better plan.  A guy named Barry in Pittsburgh went and ate at a fancy restaurant, but couldn’t afford it.  So instead of the ol’ dine and dash, Barry called in a bomb threat to the restaurant to avoid paying …

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