Clear99 Today's Best Country

You can’t even have a decent Easter Egg Hunt any more, thanks to some dumbass parents in Colorado.  Organizers of the Colorado City Easter Egg Hunt  in Colorado Springs have called off the event becuase some parents were getting too aggressive.  Apparently so many parents were crowding the hunting area to help their kids that it prevented other kids from even finding eggs.  Some of the kids spent an hour last year trying to push through the aggressive parents and still never found one egg.  That’s just sad.

Just cause you’re Amish doesn’t mean you don’t qualify for the dumbass award.  Four Amish teens were arrested and charged with illegal possession of alcohol after they crashed their buggy right into a police car.  Police were called to a country road in western New York after getting a report of drinking in buggies.  The buggy full of today’s dumbasses went to change lanes when the cops got there and ended up smacking right into the cruiser.  Police say “several other buggies fled the scene.”

If you want to prank someone via text, make sure it’s not a police detective you’re pranking.  An Arkansas teenager thought it would be funny to text a random phone number saying she hid a body and didn’t know what to do next, but the joke backfired.  The random phone number belonged to a detective and they tracked the teen down by tracing her cell phone number.  Police did not find the prank funny since it tied up some of the department’s resources.  She was givin a warning and released.

Residents of a British town are embarrassed after workers misspelled the word “school” on the road outside of an elementary school.  The word was written “schoul”. One parent from the school said “how embarrassing” and that she hopes her kids will leave the school knowing how to spell such a basic word.  The city council is blaming the contractors for the mistake.

If you’re going to steal something from a judge, you probably shouldn’t post a photo of the stolen item on your Facebook page.  Twenty-one-year-old Steven Mulhall of Florida stole a judge’s nameplate from the courtroom door of a circuit court. Then he posted a photo of himself holding the nameplate on Facebook and police used it to arrest Steven.  He was arrested for violating his probation, which he was on due to theft convictions.

Our dumbass today hails from Portland and he just seems incapable of  learning a lesson.  Jose Valenzuela was in a hurry to make his court appearance, and got 3 speeding tickets in one hour. He got all the tickets on Interstate 84…the first time he was doing 105 in a 65 mile per hour zone. The second ticket was for going 98 miles per hour, and the third time officers clocked him at 92 miles per hour.  Well, at least he was slowing down a little bit each time….but he still managed to rack up $2,000 in speeding fines in one hour.

Today’s award goes to Michigan lowlife Amanda Clayton.  You may have heard about her in the news already.  Amanda won $1 million in the lottery in September, and has continued collecting $200 a month in food stamps.  Even worse is Amanda’s explanation. In response to getting caught on welfare after winning a million, she said: “I thought they would cut me off, but since they didn’t I thought maybe it was OK because I’m not working. It’s OK because I have no income and I have to pay bills and I have two houses now.”  Sure Honey, whatever you gotta tell yourself.

If you’re going to do a robbery, you might want to dress down a little so you don’t draw attention to yourself.  Our dumbass today in San Diego didn’t get that memo.  He burglarized a church while wearing a tutu, purple tights, and with his junk hanging out.  Police got a report of suspicious activity at the church and when they got there, they found the robber in his bizarre getup with stolen electronics and musical instruments from the church in his vehicle.  He was arrested, and hopefully given something to cover his man business.

Another useless lawsuit is the topic for today’s dumbass.  Joshua Thompson of Michigan has had it with the inflated prices of snacks and drinks at the movie theater.  He went to the movie and payed $8 for a soda and candy, which is almost three times what it costs in the store.  Thompson is suing his local cinema in hopes of winning refunds for overcharged customers as well as a civil penalty.  Hey Moron – you don’t HAVE to buy soda and candy when you go to the movie, so if you don’t want to pay what they’re charging, don’t buy it.  No lawsuit needed.  Consumer lawyers predict the case will be dropped.

Dine and dash….a favorite pasttime of dumbasses everywhere.  And today’s dumbass took it to a new level.  22-year-old Alan Golden of New Mexico was at an Applebee’s with two female companions.  Alan decided to dine and dash on the bill WHILE the restaurant was hosting a police fundraising event.  Several officers were in the restaurant at the time acting as servers to collect tips for Special Olympics. In other words, resources were on hand to quickly catch Alan and arrest him.