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Daily Dumbass Dec. 27, 2018

Hey kids…don’t get high and ring bells – it just doesn’t work out.  A 40-year-old named David in Maryland was working as a Salvation Army bell ringer last week outside of a Wal-Mart.  Well, David got high on PCP before his shift, and started getting into arguments with people, yelling …

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Daily Dumbass Dec. 26, 2018

Mom of the Year?  Not this one.  A woman named Taylor in Indiana was arrested for leaving her two young kids home along…watching the movie “Home Alone”. Sometimes the stories just write themselves, folks. Her boys are 7 and 4, and apparently had been by themselves for 6 hours when …

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Daily Dumbass Dec. 24, 2018

Florida strikes again for our Daily Dumbass…this time, it’s the holiday edition.  A 55-year-old man – inappropriately named Angel – stole a Christmas wreath off someone’s door.  He then hung the wreath on his own door, in the SAME neighborhood.  The theft victim spotted it, called the cops, and Angel …

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Daily Dumbass Dec 21, 2018

It’s amazing how dumb rich people can be. Mega-billionaire Tesla man Elon Musk has completed building his underground tunnel (fancy word for subway) and is less than underwhelming. The tunnel was only built to fit one car at a time- Teslas only- and has “high-speed rails” capable of speeds as …

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Daily Dumbass Dec. 20, 2018

Trading marijuana for munchies? Only in Florida. A 23-year old went through a fast food drive thru and tried to pay for his food with a baggie of reefer. It didn’t work (OBVIOUSLY) and the manager called 911. Officers weren’t able to locate the vehicle when they arrived, so they waited …

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Daily Dumbass Dec. 19, 2018

Talk about your lame ass excuses.  A 28-year-old named Michael in Indiana crashed his Jeep into a house last week and sent four people to the hospital.  He admitted to the police that he’d been chugging Fireball prior to the crash, but Michael says the REAL cause of the crash …

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Daily Dumbass Dec. 18, 2018

Here’s an important HR tip that probably isn’t in your employee handbook.  Apparently you should NOT rub your coworkers’ lunch on your nekked body while pleasuring yourself at work.  Who knew??  A 36-year-old guy named Anthony in Pennsylvania took his female coworkers sandwich from the breakroom of the department store …

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Daily Dumbass Dec. 17, 2018

Sometimes you don’t need to test someone to see if they’re drunk – it’s painfully obvious.  A man was pulled over in British Columbia, Canada for suspicion of drunk driving.  When the cop asked for his license, he handed him a burger instead.  On top of that, he was too …

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Daily Dumbass Dec. 14, 2018

This might be the shortest stretch of freedom a con has ever had.  A 36-year-old named Thomas was released from prison in Pennsylvania the other day, and he immediately attacked a woman in the prison parking lot and stole her car with her baby in the back seat.  Thomas crashed …

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Daily Dumbass Dec. 13, 2018

If you’ve ever owned a clunker, you can relate to this:  A 33-year-old named Chad in Michigan got so pissed at his car when it broke down in a parking lot, that he pulled out a baseball bat and started smashing the car with it.  Someone called the cops, who …

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