I was the victim of a heinous crime and now that thief is the dumbass. I had a girls’ weekend at Lake of the Ozarks and we went to a swim-up bar party place. After about 3 hours we’re ready to leave and I discover that some drunken hooker had stolen my flip flops but left a pair nearby that were my size. Here’s the problem: That was the only pair of shoes I had for the entire weekend, so I then had to steal her nasty shoes so I didn’t have to Wilma Flintstone it for another day. So, if you’re so drunk that you can’t even tell whose shoes you’re puttin’ on, that’s a problem…and, ewwww!