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Daily Dumbass Jan. 17, 2020

Today’s dumbass from Virginia definitely has a serious malfunction.  A 39-year-old named Octavious went into a Taco Bell and tried to order off the dollar menu, but he only had 70 cents.  An employee felt sorry for him and gave him a free taco. Then Octavious got super mad over …

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Daily Dumbass Jan. 15, 2020

When Viagra just won’t cut it, sometimes dumbasses get desperate. A guy in Mexico went to the hospital recently because he had taken a sexual stimulant that’s used to breed BULLS, and let’s just say he had been engorged for 3 days. Doctors had to operate on him to help …

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Daily Dumbass Jan. 14, 2020

Today’s dumbass is off to a pitiful start in 2020.  A 30-year-old named Nathaniel in Georgia broke into a tire store last week.  While he was trying to steal tires, he somehow got trapped under a pile of them and couldn’t get free.  So he called 911 on himself for …

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Daily Dumbass Jan. 13, 2020

Put this one under the “you shouldn’t need to tell people this” category.  Apparently some people have been using toothpaste as LUBE and posting about their traumatic experiences online…including things like rashes, irritation, and even burns on their junk.  So now doctors are warning people to not put toothpaste “down …

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Daily Dumbass Jan. 10, 2020

We all pretty much expect to wait in long lines at the DMV….except for today’s dumbass.  A 28-year-old woman named Shawna in New Jersey, got so frustrated while waiting in line at the DMV that she started beating up the employees and then she smashed $23,000 worth of computers and …

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Daily Dumbass Jan. 9, 2020

If you’re going to use a lame excuse for drunk driving, at least make sure the excuse MIGHT make sense.  A 57-year-old Congressman in New York named Brian was drunk on New Year’s and crashed his SUV into an embankment. He initially called Triple A, but then Triple A called …

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Daily Dumbass Jan. 8, 2020

I’ve heard of people trying to beat drug tests by passing off someone else’s pee as their own, but today’s dumbass went a step lower.  A 30-year-old named Julie in Kentucky had a meeting with her probation officer and needed to take a drug test. One of the officers were …

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Daily Dumbass Jan. 7, 2020

Apparently there’s a hot new excuse to try to get out of a DUI.  Spoiler alert: It’s super lame and doesn’t work.  Two people randomly both tried the same excuse when they were busted for driving drunk on New Year’s.  A guy in Florida and a woman in Nebraska both …

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Daily Dumbass Jan. 6, 2020

There’s some people who are passive-aggressive, and some people practice it to a point where it’s illegal.  A 51-year-old guy named Paul in Texas forged his wife’s signature to get a divorce from her….without ever telling her.  She found out when she got a bunch of court documents telling her …

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Daily Dumbass Jan. 3, 2020

Having a bad day? It can’t possibly be worse than today’s dumbass.  A 32-year-old guy in Germany was on the lam after he failed to show up to serve his prison sentence.  Cops tracked him down and he took off running….and jumped off a balcony…..and landed directly on a wasps’ …

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