Daily Dumbass

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Daily Dumbass Dec. 17, 2019

It’s that time of year when porch pirates rear their ugly heads again…and this one has a twist.  Police in St. Paul, Minnesota just posted a picture of a handwritten note that a porch pirate left behind when they stole a package from a house recently.  The note says: “So …

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Daily Dumbass Dec. 16, 2019

It seems like we hear about this poor timing with stealing every couple years….this is the 2019 edition.  A 32-year-old woman named Sunny was at a Wal-Mart in Pennsylvania and tried to shoplift an entire cart of stuff by just walking out with it.  She didn’t realize it, but at …

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Daily Dumbass Dec. 12, 2019

Here’s an example of a piss poor attempt at breaking into a house.  A fire department in Arizona had to rescue a guy last week after he tried to get into a vacant house by sliding down the chimney….and got stuck.  They were called after people heard him yelling for …

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Daiy Dumbass Dec. 11, 2019

If you flew somewhere over Thanksgiving, be extremely thankful today’s dumbass wasn’t on your flight.  A plane took off from Pensacola recently and when it got in the air, a woman on board said she was having breathing issues and asked if they’d move her to a bigger seat.  They …

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Daily Dumbass Dec. 10, 2019

Working on a holiday sucks, but this is NOT how to deal with it.  A guy named Kentarias in Georgia, was supposed to work on Thanksgiving at Steak ‘n Shake.  He called in and said he couldn’t work because he was too drunk to make it in.  That was bad …

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Daily Dumbass Dec. 9, 2019

Another entry from the Lifestyles of the Drunk and Infamous.  A 30-year-old guy named Colin in Ohio got super drunk and blacked out.  When he woke up the next morning, he had two black eyes….a broken nose…and was in some random person’s living room with cops standing over him. Turns …

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Daily Dumbass Dec. 6, 2019

There’s probably not such a thing as a GOOD forehead tattoo, but this one is particularly bad.  There’s a 51-year-old guy named Douglas in Ohio who has the words “Pot Head” tattooed on his forehead near his hairline.  Wait: There’s more.  He also has a giant pot leaf in the …

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Daily Dumbass Dec. 5, 2019

Another reminder that doing drugs WILL fry your brain cells.  A 50-year-old guy named Marvin in Indiana tried to return a cell phone the other day…and forgot he was hiding his meth pipe in the box instead of the phone.  When employees found it, they called the cops.  They tracked …

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Daily Dumbass Nov. 27, 2019

This is how a college professor can end up doing 20 years in prison.  A 73-year-old University of Miami professor who’s an expert on money laundering was busted for….you guessed it – money laundering.  Apparently he’s well versed in organized crime and even wrote a book called “Drug Trafficking, Organized …

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Daily Dumbass Nov. 26, 2019

Here’s one from my home state of Alabama from the “why would you steal THAT” category.  Three men used their truck to rip the door off a convenience store with a chain…but the only thing they stole was a 12-pack of Faygo soda.  So first of all, I don’t even …

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