Daily Dumbass

Back to Florida for another mind-blowing response to getting pulled over for DUI.  A 62-year-old woman named Mary got pulled over the other night and tried to bet the cop a quarter on what her blood-alcohol level was. She guessed .19…turns out she was way under, and it was .229.  …

You would be hard pressed to find a moron who could violate a judge’s order quicker than today’s dumbass.  A 35-year-old guy in Canada was in court, and as part of his sentence for drunk driving, the judge banned him from driving for a year.  And FIVE MINUTES later, the …

There HAD to be a better way to get an extension on paying rent than this.  A 28-year-old named Ted in Maine was late with rent, and he knew his landlord was coming by to collect.  So when his landlord came into his apartment, Ted pretended to be dead.  Apparently …

Could someone please explain the whole Popeye’s chicken sandwich craze to me? Cause it’s gettin’ out of control.  I guess Popeye’s announced that their new chicken sandwich is SO popular that they RAN out.  Well a group of 5 people in Houston didn’t get that memo cause after they were …

So apparently today’s dumbass has never heard of “gun safety”.  A 68-year-old named James in Connecticut bought two guns and wanted to go test them out.  So he drove by a park and fired two shots from his car at a softball field…where there were kids PLAYING at the time. …

Today’s dumbass needed a plan with less collateral damage.  A 63-year-old named Jeffrey in Minnesota is facing charges after he dumped thousands of screws on the road near his ex-girlfriend’s house to prevent her from driving to see her new boyfriend.  It’s not clear if she ever got a flat …

If you test drive a car, you want to see how it will perform in different ways, and for some people that includes police chases.  A 32-year-old woman named Kasandra in Washington State took a Nissan for a test drive…and she kept increasing her speed, but would not let the …

Soooo….this is bizarre.  A guy broke into a business in Toronto last week, and while he was inside stealing food, for some reason, he Xeroxed his face and left the copy behind.  Not sure if it was an intentional calling card or just a bonehead move – but either way, …

It’s Jersey Girls Gone Wild for today’s dumbass.  Three women and their three kids went into a baby store in New Jersey last week.  Two of the women distracted the employee while the other woman stole a stroller.  Then they all left the store.  BUT they had to come back…when …

Someone in Southern California called the cops about a suspicious guy fixing a flat tire on the side of the road.  What could be “suspicious” about that? Police found this guy trying to fix two flat tires on his SUV…by patching them with gauze and band-aids. Turns out police also …