An epic dumbass for Valentine’s Day. A 31-year-old guy named Matthew in Pennsylvania got married recently and got stupid drunk at his wedding reception and did the following things: 1. Hit on an underage waitress 2. Followed said waitress into the bathroom, groped her and exposed himself 3. Tried to pay said waitress $100 to have sex with him 4. Got into a brawl with the rest of the wait staff at the country club and capped it off with 5. fighting with the cops when they showed up. You know, I think this marriage has lasting power….as soon as Matthew gets out of jail.