The first dumbass of March is pretty epic, and hails from our whacky neighbors to the north. Police in Ontario, Canada, got a call recently about a drunk driver. Turns out the call came from…the drunk driver himself. He told the dispatcher that he was driving drunk, and when the cops tracked him down, he wasn’t lying. HIs blood alcohol level was FOUR times the legal limit. You know you gotta be pie faced if you call the cops on your damn self.